Loneliness vs Closeness

The day we agreed that we

Are in a “relationship” and

We

Are now

Officially

Us

An internal struggle began

Sometimes

The four hundred mile distance

Between our homes

Creates an intense loneliness

That engulfs me

And the urge

To throw caution to the wind

Overtakes me

Thoughts of packing my truck

And heading north

Have to be resisted

Then

At other times

You feel so close

Like you are right here with me

Beside me

We are so connected

That the miles become irrelevant

And taking-our-time seems bearable

Thankfully

The feelings of closeness

Occur more frequently

Than those of loneliness

Otherwise I would be a complete

And total mess

E.A. Fussell

03032018

No-Go!

A large portion

Of my working life

Has been spent

Waiting

For inspections

Foundation

Slab

Tiebeam

Plumbing

Electric

HVAC

Framing

Insulation

Rough-ins

Finals

Etc

Etc

Etc

It’s past 4:00pm on a Friday

No inspection result posted yet

Where are you mister building inspector?

The concrete is scheduled

For a 7:00am Monday pour

Everyone is waiting

The concrete has to be batched

Much earlier than 7:00am

The pump has to be setup on site

The finishers need to know

Did the inspection pass

Was it a yes or was it a no

Is the pour a go

Dear Mr Inspector

If you don’t arrive pretty soon

It will be up to me to call it

The clock is ticking

Everyone is anxiously waiting

Okay, now it’s too late

We can’t take the risk

I have to assume you got tied up

And are a no-show

Which means

I alert the team

That the pour is a

NO-GO!

E.A. Fussell

03022018

Fabric & Fun Roadtrip Day 3

End of day three of a nine day road trip. (Photo was not taken by me but it was one of the quilts on display during our visit to the National Quilt Museum in Paducah, Kentucky)

Last night was Sunday and the first of two nights in Paducah, Kentucky. We are here to visit the National Quilt Museum. Sharon is a serious quilter and I seriously like any excuse to take a road trip. So here we are.

We are staying at the Paducah Inn Boutique Hotel which is two historic Victorian homes situated side-by-side. Upon our arrival Russell, the Inn keeper, informed us that he cooks a made-to-order breakfast in the main dining room each morning. After long drive the comfortable beds beckoned, promising sweet dreams and a good nights sleep. Sharon’s suite is large and luxurious with a private bath. My room is cozy with a bath down the hall shared with the upstairs guests. Staying in a bed and breakfast inn can be very nice. There is a kitchen between my room and Sharon’s room complete with a dish filled with homemade chocolate chip cookies. It kind of feels like we are visiting a relative or friend’s home.

I awoke this morning feeling refreshed and went for an early walk in the chilly twenty degree temperatures, then got ready for our day of sightseeing and stopped by Sharon’s room to see if she was ready for the days adventure. She was, so we joined our fellow houseguests in the main dining room for breakfast. (House guests sounds better than Inn mates don’t you think?)

Three tables were occupied when we entered the dining room. A mother and son from New York were cordial but not inclusive. A couple from Tampa, Florida were very friendly but we didn’t want to intrude on their “couple time” and it happened that Sharon had already met the guest at the third table so we asked if we could join her. Carolyn Brantley welcomed us warmly. We learned that she is a missionary, author, and transformational life coach specializing in “quiet” retreats. She was a most engaging soul and we were completely captivated by her table talk. She grew up in Paducah and generously shared some of it’s history as we enjoyed Russell’s delicious made-to-order breakfast. Before saying our goodbyes we purchased copies of Carolyn’s book “Reminders from Russia” which is s compilation of newsletters written while she and her husband Bruce were on a mission in Russia during the late 90’s.

With our bellies filled with fuel for the morning activities it was now time to find Hancock’s Fabric. They say this is a virtual heaven on earth to the sewing community. It was reported to me by a reliable source that women from other countries have been known to leave their clothing at the Inn so they can pack their luggage with fabric before returning to their homelands. This was easy to believe when I saw Sharon’s face as we pulled into Hancock’s parking lot. Oh if it were possible to bottle the joy that exuded from her when she entered that store, I would sprinkle it over you as you read these words and you would be as giddy as a school girl (yes, even if you are of the male persuasion). The look on her face was priceless as she frolicked through the fabric aisles.

Monday morning email and text messages didn’t seem to understand that “vacation” was my word for the week. So a cozy bench in the front of the store offered the perfect place for me to work and sit guard over fabric filled buggies. Sharon would fill one buggy, bring it to me, then go fill anther one. She found lots of material for her projects while I managed the production on lots of my projects. It was a great morning.

We took a short lunch Break at the local D.Starnes BBQ then toured the wall of murals along the river bank which tell a pictorial history of Paducah. Murals always get my attention and some of these life size paintings felt like you could wade off into them and be transported back in time.

In the afternoon we toured the National Quilt Museum to view craftsmanship and works of art from olden time to modern days. Some of the work is so intricate and tedious, I can’t imagine having the patience to make each painstaking stitch. Of course today machines can be programmed to do much of the work but it still requires a skill that I may never acquire. Much respect to any and all quilters is offered by me.

We topped our day off with dinner at Patti’s 1880 Settlement in Grand Rivers, Kentucky and I took a walk through the grounds decorated with thousands of Christmas lights. The beautiful scenery was a perfect backdrop for family photos and I was blessed to be able to offer my assistance to several dads so they could join the photograph instead of being the photographer.

By the time we arrived back in our rooms at the Paducah Inn we were ready for some rest and thankful to have logged another beautiful day on our route.

E.A. Fussell

11202017

Forge Ahead

Fill your mind and heart with optimism and hope. Push guilt and fear and anxiety to the side.  Forge ahead, move through your day, knowing that your dominant thoughts attract your reality.  Light always overcomes darkness. Vibrate at a higher level today by keeping your thoughts positive. Your vibration impacts the universe, you matter, you are important, you are loved by God, Creator of all.

E.A.Fussell

04232017

Look

Relationship

Why does that word scare me so

Maybe because

I’ve watched so many

Come and go

Family members pass

Friendships fade

Marriages die

Lovers leave

I’ve met someone

Who makes me

Want to be brave again

Believe in

Happily ever after again

My romantic mind

Dares to shout

“I want the fairytale!”

My logical mind whispers

“Fool!”

My heart speaks softly

“Look”

A vision flashes before my eyes

This man takes my hand

And we walk together

Along a mountain path

Into a brilliant sunset

My heart swells with hope

It’s rhythmic pounding

Drowning out

The chatter

Of my mind

E.A. Fussell

02282018

Yet Here I Lay

My heart is strong

It heals quickly

No matter how big the wrong

No matter how deep the cut

My heart continues to beat

Even when it’s pulverized

Like a piece of ground up meat

My mind is weak

It holds on to memories

Of the ones who ripped

My heart to shreds

A thousand thoughts

Assaulting my head

At an age such as mine

One hopes to find

The ability to release

Thoughts that bind

Hurt that blinds

And find some modicum of peace

Yet here lay I

Alone in my bed

With heart wrenching memories

Running rampant through my head

What if I had only, said or done

Something different, in some way

What if…….maybe…….

Yet here I lay

E.A. Fussell

11102017

My Lonliest

Sometimes

I️ forget who I️ am

And someone

Convinces me

I️ can settle down

But the truth is

God created me to roam

And mostly

I️ am satisfied

With a suitcase

Instead of a home

Some think

It makes for me

A lonely life

But the truth is

I️ have often

Felt my loneliest

When I️ had the title

Of wife

E.A. Fussell

11162017