Ok now try this

Try this:

1. Make a list of the things that make you happy (especially the small simple things)

2. Make a list of the things you do every day

3. Compare the list

4. Adjust accordingly

5. Live your life in a way that makes you happier

Note: a person is about as happy as they make up their mind to be, so go ahead, make up your mind, choose to be happier…..or not, it’s really only up to you

E.A. Fussell


The last 30

Starting again

Trying to understand


I keep making progress

Then sliding backwards




So tired of this yo-yo-ing

Ready to be at goal

Feeling on the cusp

Of that place where I either

Sit on another endless plateau

Or worse

Start gaining


To move further


On the infernal scale

I will make goal next year

I will see more positive results

I will change up my plans of

Eating and exercise

And kick my own butt

Over this depressing hill


I will end 2020 with

Significantly less body mass

Than when the year started

Twenty pounds gone

Is a good thing

But I still have

Another thirty to go

So as the new year begins

A new goal is set

A new plan envisioned

And yes, I am holding onto hope

This battle will finally be won

Holding fast as I push forward

Starting again

E.A. Fussell


Taking Others beliefs as your own

It takes courage to admit we don’t know the answers to certain questions. It takes even more courage to admit we don’t even know the right questions. But if we ask the wrong question we are guaranteed to get the wrong answer.

Ponder this for a moment: Think of a current problem you are facing. How did you come to define this problem? Did it magically appear in front of you with no influence from outside forces? Or were you heavily influenced by the media, or your family, or friends, or your employer, or your teacher, or multiple sources?

Do you have time to analyze the problem, really analyze it? Or are you relying on what other people are saying without doing your own research? And if you have done your own research have you looked at all sides of the question? Or just the side that bothers you most?

Looking at all sides of a question allows a problem to be solved in various ways. Deeper questioning allows for the most effective answer. Most of us don’t have the time, inclination, or self-discipline to research and analyze questions the way they should be deciphered. We simply pick which story sounds most plausible to our belief system and agree with what others are saying, adapting their words as our stance.

I challenge you to take one problem in your life and look at it from all sides. For a moment, set aside your emotions, beliefs, and pre-conceived notions. Ask a question related to the problem, gather information from various sources, ask another question, gather more information if needed, continue asking and gathering until you get to an answer that you believe is the correct one. Going five “why’s” deep is an effective way to get to the root cause of a problem

Refuse to accept what other people say as your truth. Research, analyze, ask, repeat. Until you have an answer that is your own. If it aligns with your original position that’s okay, at least you know it to be true for you. But you may find that you come up with a completely new position or approach.

In order to get to the root of a big problem you will need courage to face your own truth. Asking and answering the right questions can be unsettling and frightening as you stare the root cause of a problem in the eye. Sometimes we find it’s our own eye we are staring into. Sometimes it’s the eye of a family member or close friend. Sometimes it’s the eye of the dregs of society.

But would you rather be fighting the real problem by answering the right questions or would you rather continue boxing with shadows?

E.A. Fussell


Body & Mind aging challenges

Mind and mobility, we sure do take them for granted and aging sure does bring to light how much we take them for granted. The body doesn’t recover as quickly as it did in younger years which can be very frustrating. It needs slow consistent therapy and lots of rest. Slow and rest, two words I am involuntarily learning more about as I age.

Then there is the mind. It is a mystery. Yes, I know that memory issues are common as we age but I really didn’t expect to be experiencing them (so obviously) just shy of sixty. And then there is the jumbling of words that has gotten noticeably worse over the past few months. Thinking one thing but saying something else can be quite alarming. Examples: thinking rent saying mortgage; thinking bank saying post office; thinking garden hose saying rope. These episodes freak me out a little and when I foolishly Googled my symptoms I felt even more concerned. Dr. Google indicates that I have had a stroke, maybe a few! What?!

No, I haven’t had a stroke. There is definitely something neurological happening but it’s a mystery as to what. I started a series of Chinese and alternative medicine treatments about a month ago to improve cognition and memory and so far it seems to be working. Word jumble has decreased from once a day to once a week.

Another month or two of slow and consistent treatment, rest, and prayer should have me well again. One thing is for sure, these experiences have given me perspective of how I would like to live my final years. I have started studying about the brain to help myself and maybe someone else. And when I can move freely again exercise will not be taken for granted, I will consistently workout even if it’s slow.

E.A. Fussell


Musical Memories of Granny


Round and round

I started listening to your sound

When I first hit this ground

Called earth

And as I grew

My little toddler legs danced around

In my Granny’s living room

To your delightful tunes

She had music playing

Almost every day

She would sing along

To an old country song

As she went about her chores

She instilled in me a need

To hear your beats

And listen to your melodies

In the listening

I am reminded of her love

E.A. Fussell


The senior years

The sunset of life is approaching

Where will it take me

How long will it last

Will I row my boat alone

Or will a partner help

I don’t know

It really doesn’t matter

The sunset will come

Regardless of my relationship status

And life has taught me

That no matter how much I plan

Plans don’t always work out

So I will try to be still

And enjoy the beauty

Of every moment

Of whatever comes

Knowing that it’s my sunset

And regardless

Of who may be with me

Only I can see it

E.A. Fussell


Hiding the true you

Who is living your life

The image your parents created

The image your partner created

The image your children created

The image your co-workers created

The image your ego mind created

Who is living your life

When you were born

You came here as nobody

Then somebody put a name on you

Somebody started telling you

Who you are

And it continued throughout your life

Maybe the you

That you portray

Really is the inner you

But some

Have never expressed their true self

They keep it hidden

Under what the world

Tells them they should be

Knowing our true selves

Is the simplest thing we can do

But definitely not the easiest

To empty the ego mind

Of all its senseless chatter

In order to hold our core mind

In the heart center

Takes a strong desire

To get rid of

All the veils of identity

This doesn’t mean the veils

Can’t be put back on

All of them or selected ones

To allow the world to see us

As it thinks we are

It simply means

That we are no longer

Triggered by thoughts or emotions

We are no longer bound

By what others think

They can think whatever they want

They can see whatever they want

As we rest in the center of our being

Knowing who we are

Regardless of which hat

We chose to wear

E.A. Fussell


What will get you farther

Once upon a time

Two stubborn beings

Crossed path

The thinker decided

They could get farther

If they rode together

One upon the other

The stronger one agreed

To this partnership

And offered up its back

The thinker climbed aboard

Then desire to lead took over

The thinker squirmed and kicked

The stronger one stood still

Amused at the thinker’s

Lack of riding skill

The thinker became annoyed

Demanded the stronger one move

Heels kicked up

The thinker flew through the air

Meeting the ground with a thud

The stronger stood still

Waiting for the response

The thinker slowly arose

Brushed off itself from head to toe

Stomped over to the stronger

Stood for a moment

Thought about going on alone

Looked up the path that now

Seemed somehow longer

Then turned to the stronger

Okay, you can lead

The stronger gave

A delighted bray

The thinker climbed aboard

Letting the reins fall loosely

And easily they departed

E.A. Fussell


Ponder this:

the thinker is like our ego mind

the stronger is like our inner being