Starting Over…again

December, the warning flag that another year is about to end and a new one begin. This is the time of year my best friend Sherry “Ladybug” Underwood and I would spend most of our visits reviewing the past year, celebrating our triumphs, and hashing-out disappointments. We would applaud each other on the good things, and encourage each other to let the bad things go. Then we would focus on the new year and new possibilities ahead. We would plot, and plan, and dream. Nothing was too big for our imaginations.

One thing that was always on our list, that I don’t think she would mind sharing, was losing weight and getting healthier. We would make a plan to start January 1st or the Monday closest to it. One of her favorite sayings was “Monday is a good day to start something new.”

Earlier this year she was called home and left this world for a much better one. It feels weird to face December without her.

She would have been my first call when Iweighed this morning and discovered I am within a few pounds of the same weight I was this time last year. She would have heard me cuss-and-fuss and she would have chuckled said something like, “Don’t start a new diet now, wait until the new year and we can start on Monday” chuckling again. And I would be disagreeable, saying something like, “If I wait until then I will have even more weight to lose.” She would patiently listen to my new intention and then cheer me on daily.

Well she’s not here to listen patiently, so I am just throwing my thoughts down on paper…wait this isn’t paper…throwing my thoughts down on a digital screen.

I weighed today. The &@?!$ scale said I weigh 201.8 pounds. Over the past year I have bounced up-and-down between 188-214. I have tried Keto, Vegetarian, Protein Shakes, Fasting, high fat, low fat, no fat blah-blah-blah. This is ridiculous!

My dad recently sent me a program called “FOOD, What The Heck Should I Eat?” by Dr. Mark Hyman. Looks like it is time to start. So, I am starting over…again.

Today, December 1st, 2018, my intention is to use the doctor’s guidelines in FOOD for nutrition. And, my new Fitbit to track my intention of 10,000 steps a day. My weight loss goal is 50 pounds by my birthday in May.

There will be other conversations I miss having with my best friend as I face the future but for now, she is chuckling in my memory, and cheering me on ”5 months, 50 pounds, you can do this!”

E.A. Fussell

12/01/2018

Dillard Dreams

You’ve crossed my mind so many times today. One year ago we met, how different my life might be if I could have accepted what you offered. We thought the timing was perfect, but it was off just a little. I thought my heart was stronger, but it was still too brittle. You are an amazing man and I am thankful for the season of love we shared, even if the season was only for a moment.

E.A. Fussell

11/25/2018

Thanksgiving Weight

Thanksgiving week has been a blast

Gosh, it sure did go by fast

Too much food upon my plate

Now the scale says

I’ve gained a-bunch-of-weight

Headed back to Texas

Jogging suit in hand

Hit the gym early each morning

That’s my plan

I offer you my apologies

In advance

For the motivational posts

You are sure to glance

As I talk-to-myself-out-loud

While I plan and gauge

How to make myself proud

By New Years Day

E.A. Fussell

11/26/2018

From The Window Up Above

From the window up above

Are you watching me

As the holidays draw near

Are you missing me

I don’t think so

In heaven there are no tears

But here on earth

My mind fills with memories

Of you cooking for days ahead

Of grandpa smoking meat out back

I think of you both so often and

More during the holidays

You were both so special to me

I love you Granny

E.A. Fussell

11/20/2018