Wisdom, Where Do You Hide

Wisdom

Where do you hide

Heart aches

Choices Made

Dreams gone

Three hearts

Unbeknownst

Two hearts joined

One heart left alone

To ponder

Should it feel pain

Wisdom, where do you hide

One heart spreads its wings

Searching

Pondering

Seeking

Wisdom, where do you hide

One mind awakens

Understanding comes

Unbeknownst

Yes, that is the key

One heart finally rests

In full knowing

Destiny has played out

Wisdom has arrived

E.A. Fussell

12/30/2018

Do Not Conform

There is a distant voice

Calling

It gets louder

As I get older

Calling

Do not settle

Do not conform

Calling

Love with abandon

Live with passion

Calling

Stay free

Enjoy each experience

Calling

Seek wisdom

Disregard skeptics

Calling

Take risks

Do not fear pain

Calling

You were created for this moment

Do not let it pass in vain

E.A. Fussell

12/28/2018

When Sense Ratios Change, People Change

Ponder this:

Our central nervous system

A mass of impulses and messages

Flowing constantly

Processing information at warp speed

Connected to the eyes

Can be effected by environment

Media bombards us

With negative images

Evoking an imbalance

In the ratio of our sense preceptors

By overloading us

With negative information

The media changes the ratio

Of our sense preceptors

When sense ratios change

People change

Bombarded by negative information

We become more negative

As individuals, as a society, as a nation

But remember

When sense ratios change

People change

What might happen if

We turned off the media

And took for ourselves

A few minutes

During our waking hour and

Prior to sleep

To gaze at images which inspire us

And listen to music that moves us

And think on things pure and lovely

And fill our central nervous system

With positive information

That we dream on and awaken to

If we did this for a day, week, longer

What might happen to us

As individuals, a society, a nation?

E.A. Fussell

12/24/2018

Montana Calling

Back in Texas, and unpacking from a recent trip to the Smoky Mountains, my ringing phone flashed “Montana Calling” across the screen. My longtime friend, Jethro, is the only person I know currently living in Montana. Talking with him is always entertaining.

I answered my phone joyfully,

“What’s goin’ on cowboy?”

Jethro, in a sad tone,

“Hey Miss Ann, not much going on here, I just had to call and tell you something”

Me, sincerely concerned,

“What’s wrong?”

Jethro, dejectedly,

“You hurt my feelings.”

Me, truly alarmed,

“One of the last things in this world I would want to do is hurt your feelings Jethro, what on earth have I done?”

Jethro, a little more energy in his voice, “You went traipsing around the countryside again and didn’t come see me…again.”

Me, astonished,

“Have you moved recently?”

Jethro, sadly,

“Nope, I’m still right here in Montana, waitin’ for you to come see me.”

Me, chidingly,

“well Jethro, I realize you aren’t the-brightest-bulb-on-the-Christmas-tree, but I know that even you are aware Montana is a long way from the Smoky Mountains.”

Jethro, growing more heated as he spoke,

“Miss Ann, I am not only the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, I am the damn star-on-top-of-the-tree and that’s how I know there are planes that fly from Texas to Montana. You could have flown here, stayed with me and galavanted around these mountains and streams. We have trees here too Miss Ann and waterfalls. We have lots of things in Montana that you could have taken pictures of!”

Me, laughing in spite of myself,

“I’m not sure about that whole star-on-top-of-the-Christmas-tree thing you are proclaiming, but if you wanted to see me so badly those planes you are talking about fly to Texas the same way they fly to Montana.”

Jethro, seriously,

“And you know I ain’t gonna get on an airplane! And I cain’t take time off work to drive to Texas and back, so you are gonna have to come here.”

Me, contemplating,

“Maybe I’ll accept your invitation and visit in the Spring. Just make sure your latest-flavor-of the month knows I’ll be camping on your doorstep.”

Jethro, laughing,

“I done told this one all about you Miss Ann, and you’re gonna like her. She’s more than the flavor-or-the-month, she’s lasted the whole year and I’m hopin’ she’ll stick around for next year too.”

Me, surprised,

“WOW, that’s an accomplishment for you, I am happy to hear it. What exactly did you tell her about me?”

Jethro, whimsical,

“I told her about your poetry, how much you like to dance, that you are a workaholic and that for me you’re the one that got away but we have remained good friends.”

Me, incredulous,

“Don’t you have to catch something before it gets away?!”

Jethro, sincerely,

“That’s just a technicality, I caught you in my mind. I can hardly wait for the Spring to get here! Let me know when you are comin’.”

Me, smiling,

“Okay, but be warned, one of the reasons I haven’t traveled out west yet is because it may be difficult for me to leave once the scenery gets a hold of me.”

Jethro, happily,

“Don’t worry Miss Ann, you’re always welcome with me.”

Me, chuckling,

“Later cowboy.”

Jethro, chuckling too,

“Later Miss Ann”

As I hung up the phone visions of Montana’s majestic mountains flashed through my mind. Springtime may not get here fast enough.

E.A. Fussell

11-25-2018

Starting Over…again

December, the warning flag that another year is about to end and a new one begin. This is the time of year my best friend Sherry “Ladybug” Underwood and I would spend most of our visits reviewing the past year, celebrating our triumphs, and hashing-out disappointments. We would applaud each other on the good things, and encourage each other to let the bad things go. Then we would focus on the new year and new possibilities ahead. We would plot, and plan, and dream. Nothing was too big for our imaginations.

One thing that was always on our list, that I don’t think she would mind sharing, was losing weight and getting healthier. We would make a plan to start January 1st or the Monday closest to it. One of her favorite sayings was “Monday is a good day to start something new.”

Earlier this year she was called home and left this world for a much better one. It feels weird to face December without her.

She would have been my first call when Iweighed this morning and discovered I am within a few pounds of the same weight I was this time last year. She would have heard me cuss-and-fuss and she would have chuckled said something like, “Don’t start a new diet now, wait until the new year and we can start on Monday” chuckling again. And I would be disagreeable, saying something like, “If I wait until then I will have even more weight to lose.” She would patiently listen to my new intention and then cheer me on daily.

Well she’s not here to listen patiently, so I am just throwing my thoughts down on paper…wait this isn’t paper…throwing my thoughts down on a digital screen.

I weighed today. The &@?!$ scale said I weigh 201.8 pounds. Over the past year I have bounced up-and-down between 188-214. I have tried Keto, Vegetarian, Protein Shakes, Fasting, high fat, low fat, no fat blah-blah-blah. This is ridiculous!

My dad recently sent me a program called “FOOD, What The Heck Should I Eat?” by Dr. Mark Hyman. Looks like it is time to start. So, I am starting over…again.

Today, December 1st, 2018, my intention is to use the doctor’s guidelines in FOOD for nutrition. And, my new Fitbit to track my intention of 10,000 steps a day. My weight loss goal is 50 pounds by my birthday in May.

There will be other conversations I miss having with my best friend as I face the future but for now, she is chuckling in my memory, and cheering me on ”5 months, 50 pounds, you can do this!”

E.A. Fussell

12/01/2018

Dillard Dreams

You’ve crossed my mind so many times today. One year ago we met, how different my life might be if I could have accepted what you offered. We thought the timing was perfect, but it was off just a little. I thought my heart was stronger, but it was still too brittle. You are an amazing man and I am thankful for the season of love we shared, even if the season was only for a moment.

E.A. Fussell

11/25/2018

Thanksgiving Weight

Thanksgiving week has been a blast

Gosh, it sure did go by fast

Too much food upon my plate

Now the scale says

I’ve gained a-bunch-of-weight

Headed back to Texas

Jogging suit in hand

Hit the gym early each morning

That’s my plan

I offer you my apologies

In advance

For the motivational posts

You are sure to glance

As I talk-to-myself-out-loud

While I plan and gauge

How to make myself proud

By New Years Day

E.A. Fussell

11/26/2018

From The Window Up Above

From the window up above

Are you watching me

As the holidays draw near

Are you missing me

I don’t think so

In heaven there are no tears

But here on earth

My mind fills with memories

Of you cooking for days ahead

Of grandpa smoking meat out back

I think of you both so often and

More during the holidays

You were both so special to me

I love you Granny

E.A. Fussell

11/20/2018