Agree to disagree

If you make the mistake of underestimating the fire within her. She will burn your perception of her to ashes. She has seen a few days go up in a red hot blaze. When all she wanted was to be listened even if not understood. Life is hard. Love is harder. Why can’t couples be more smarter about how they communicate. Yes, love should mostly be light and carefree but it’s okay to have differing opinions, to be able to disagree, without loosing respect for one another.

E.A. Fussell

10.30.2020

The Keeper of the Stars

To say this year hasn’t gone as planned wouldn’t really have much effect and certainly wouldn’t surprise. Just a few weeks left to accomplish whatever might be accomplished. Usually a new year is looked upon with eyes full of hope and a mind full of promise. One would think even more so following this past year of chaos. Interestingly it is not so. There is reserved enthusiasm in the air as we look ahead with one eye while looking back with the other, still not quite sure exactly what we saw but certain it wasn’t what we were made to believe it was. Concerned there may be more tricks up the sleeve of the silent powers that be who use the squawking scorpion, known as social media, to deliver their sting. Oh yes, we know you are there, even when we pretend to be unaware. Lurking in the under belly of darkest green, raking in the profits from everything obscene. Peddling human life at a pittance per pound in staggering ways ancient yet profound. We won’t kick the old dragon we’ll let him roam. Devouring souls one digital screen at a time until the trumpeter blows the celestial horn and a promising new era has finally dawned. We shouldn’t be surprised or alarmed. The story stretches back along a clear line laid out above us for those who seek, they will find, it was written in the stars before the beginning of time.

E.A. Fussell

10.28.2020

Racing to the End

It was like we were lost in a race

The point of which

I could not tell you now

At the time it seemed important

Who was in first place

But what did that even mean

And how was it determined

Who made the most

Sarcastic snip

Wittiest reply

Quickest roll of the eyes

Laughable in retrospect

No less devastating in effect

Slowly

Noticeably

Crushing egos

Crumbling dreams

Killing love

Still we raced on

Until every bit of hope

For our relationship was gone

E.A. Fussell

10.28.2020

Just say No

Stop feeling compelled

By the false since if kindness

To say yes

Saying yes to multiple things

That you don’t really want to do

Is not really kind to anyone

Especially you

It builds subtle resentment

And internal disappointment

Drains your energy and

Steals valuable moments

You could be investing in your

Longevity and overall well-being

Learn to say “No.”

If saying no to an invitation

Is too difficult for you

Try saying something like

“I don’t think so, but if that changes, I’ll let you know.”

It’s okay to protect your time

One of your most

Precious possessions

Stop giving it away

To persons, events, activities

That you don’t fully enjoy

Look, if an invitation is something

You truly want to do

Then do it

But if it’s not

Then don’t be afraid to decline

Learn to invest your time

In things that lift you up

Cause you to smile

Feel relaxed

Loved

Maybe even

Luxuriously pampered

E.A. Fussell

10.27.2020

False Identity

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change. Breaking up the perception of who we are, rather who we think we are, more properly stated who we thought we were.

Change is difficult for most humans. Even if the change is ultimately positive. We tend to like to stay put in the stories that define who we are: husband, wife, sibling, friend, doctor, lawyer, executive, teacher, etcetera. Even when those stories are painful: overweight, handicapped, addict, abused, etcetera. There is comfort in familiarity, even when it’s a miserable familiarity.

One of the reasons we stay in miserable situations is the fear of change. When the tiniest idea of changing ourselves or our circumstances enters our thoughts the mind begins bombarding us with questions:

What are you going to do if you leave/quit/move?

How will you survive?

How will your family survive?

What about the children?

Are you prepared to lose your friends over this decision?

Seriously, you don’t want to be a doctor anymore?

Are you kidding me, after all that time and money invested?

On and on and on. The wording just changes based on who you think you are. That is the point, who do you think you are? Why do you think that?

When you arrived on this planet you were nobody with nothing. A tiny microscopic piece of the universe showing up in the form of a baby human. Then your parents, or someone, gave you a name and started describing you. Then you went to school or some form of education and that system added a layer of description to you via teachers and friends. Then you went to work and that experience added another layer of description onto you. Each intimate relationship added another layer of who others think you are.

Layer, upon layer, upon layer of outside influencers telling you who you should think that you are. Anchoring your mind, tying you to perceptions and beliefs. But who are you really? When you quiet all the chatter, turn off your belief system, sit quietly listening to nothing.

Who are you?

Can you even recognize yourself without the voice in your head telling you who everyone else says that you are? When that voice is silent and not allowed to tell you what to believe or what you should do, can you recognize yourself? Is it scary to sit with the inner you? Does panic threaten to set in when you realize you really are not what or who you thought you were?

Who are you?

Are you able to realize that you are part of master creation? That stardust runs through your veins? That all knowledge silently rests within you waiting for you to comprehend it’s yours for the asking? Are you able to realize that everything you will ever need you already have?

Only a few will be able to sacrifice the mind to get to their heart. The heart where true power resides. No judgments, no prejudice, no striving, no struggling. Peace, contentment, indifference, detachment, love, acceptance, abundance. To enter this internal place, to understand this is where the entire universe resides, requires the willingness to inquire. To sit silently with oneself inquiring of oneself. This may create a great and sudden change from which you may never be the same.

But, even after this grand quiet epiphany, you may choose, and you can choose, to return to the you the world knows. The familiar you. Your mind will immediately encourage you to pick it all back up, to put back on your old beliefs and descriptions of yourself. It will flood you with the desire to return to the familiar, even if it’s miserable, because:

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.

E.A. Fussell

10.27.2020

Obvious observations

Photo by Renn Lawrence

Wise old owl

Sittin’ on a knotted fence post

Watchin’ the world

Get crazier by the moment

Unable to tell

Who’s crazy the most

Maybe it’s the donkey

Maybe it’s the elephant

Maybe it’s the Muslims

Maybe it’s the Christians

Maybe it’s the latest

Activist movement

Stirring up chaos and unrest

Tearing down statues

Breaking down traditions

Enforcing social distance

No hugs, no smiles, no high fives

Enslaving people

Via social media

And fear for their lives

A few more days

The votes will all be cast

Will the craziness end at last

When the final bell

On election night tolls

It’s a nice thought

But hardly wise

How can a system

Based on lies

Bring itself in balance

When it’s crooked on all sides

E.A. Fussell

10.27.2020

Ticking toward a new day

Hey you

What are you thinking about

In the middle of the night

Lying there awake

Lost in an indescribable Restlessness

A barrage of thoughts

Rendering you sleepless

No energy to get out of bed

Not totally awake

Unable to completely relax

Watching the clock arms

Slowly turn

Inching toward dawn

Knowing about the time

You must arise

Sleep will rush in

Desperate to keep you tethered

To your bed

Releasing your mind

From the prison of thought

Transporting you

To a magical land

Sleep

E.A. Fussell

10.26.2020

When?

Now is the only time

Now is the best time

Now is the only time to do anything

Now is the best time to sing

Now is the only time we know

Now is the best time to go

Now is the only time we get

Now is the best time to place a bet

Now is the only time we need

Now is the best time to just be

Now is the only time we have

Now is the best time to live

E.A. Fussell

10.24.2020

The world is within

Seeing others

Is a form of reflection

Liking what we see

Disliking what we see

Reveals aspects of ourselves

It can be difficult

To wrap the mind around this concept

That we are surrounded by reflections

Some will comprehend

Some will disagree

Holding tightly to identity

Not wanting to realize this life

Is filled with illusions

Nothing is what

We have been conditioned to believe

We are vast beings

Everything exists within us

Experiencing life in the form of a body

Gives the immediate illusion

That everything is outside of us

Awareness of our inner true self

Dissolves the illusions

Resting in that awareness

Devoid of illusions

Is possible

If we quiet the mind

E.A. Fussell

M10.23.2020

You are the bandleader

From the heart the mouth speaks

Is your heart in a good place

What is coming out of your mouth

Are you uplifting and encouraging

Or are you judgmental

Sarcastic

Discouraging

Your words can create high energy

Symphonic color-filled gardens

Or they can create dark drab

Energy draining spaces

When we’re busy

We can fail to take a moment

To think about our words

And their impact

I am trying to be more aware

Of what I say and how I say it

Not just to others

But also to myself

I am also trying to be more silent

Not feel compelled

To immediately answer a question

Or join in a conversation

Let the silence exist long enough

To be noticeable

There is so much chatter and noise

Silence can be profound

Speak volumes

And fill the space with

A different kind of beautiful music

E.A. Fussell

10.22.2020