Hopelessly hoping

Drug addiction

I have not had

But I’ve watched it

Fuck my son up

Real bad

Fifteen years ago or so

He was an aspiring young man

Had the world in his hand

Then things took a turn

He made wrong decisions

That have left him to burn

With an emptiness

That can never be filled

By any amount of

Hits or shots or pills

He poisons his body

Willingly

All the while lying to

His family

Prayer, so much prayer

Has been offered up

To the point I have thought

Of giving up

A parents never ending cycle of

Anger, heartbreak, hope

When it comes to

Watching your child

Addicted to dope

I’ve tried to help him

His dad has too

But we are helpless

Against the evil

He eagerly consumes

Money, so much money

Has been spent

With doubts some of it

Ever went where it was meant

As we cry ourselves

To sleep at night

Drug addiction

Holds our son real tight

Taking away his chance

To enjoy this life

When it comes

To me loving my son

I’m a real sucker

And to me

Drug addiction

Is a true mother fucker

Every dollar I invest

Every tear I shed

Drug addiction just laughs

And holds my son tighter

But I keep holding on to

One last hope

That there really is a God

And that He knows

I would give up everything

Including my life

If He would just free my son

From the grasp of dope

As I wait and continue to pray

Each and every single day

Silently inside my heart I still hear

My little boy crying

Mommy please

Love me

Until I’m me again

E.A. Fussell

08.07.2020

Hope

Drugs ruin

Alcohol ruins

Political stance ruins

A closed mind ruins

Religiousness ruins

The ruin is a hardened heart

Eyes that don’t see

Ears that don’t hear

A tongue that speaks froward things

But I still hold onto hope

Hope that the drug addict will be

Completely healed

Hope the alcoholic will overcome the urge

Hope political stances find common ground

Hope that closed minds will be opened

Hope that religiousness will give way

To the truth

Of unconditional love

From God

Who dwells within us all

If we believe

E.A. Fussell

4/27/2019

Rattlesnake Preacher

I’ve never really known

A rattlesnake preacher

No doubt if I had

They would have scared the %#*!

Out of me

Truthfully, just the thought of them

Scares me a little

But also intrigues me

What passionate faith they must have

No I do not believe a person

Has to grab hold of a deadly live snake

To prove they are filled

With the Holy Spirit

But I have to admit

There have been days in my life

That I wish I had

The passionate faith it takes

To grab a live rattlesnake by the tail

Maybe

If I had had that kind of faith

I could have saved my son

From drugs and jail

E.A. Fussell

07/18/2018