Ladybug

My nickname for you was “Ladybug”

Because it is believed they are signs of

Good luck, magical moments,

And protection

You were all those things for me

Eight days ago

We were sitting on your back porch

One of your favorite places

Talking and laughing

Less than twelve hours later

Completely out of the blue

Your heart gave out

You were fighting for your life

All of us who loved you so

Prayed to God for a miracle

Begged you to stay with us

Broke down and cried

As the doctors tried everything possible

Again

And

Again

And

Again

At the end of the day

Just before midnight

It was official

You had passed on to the next life

And those of us who loved you

Were irreparably broken

In the week since loosing you

The memories flood in

At unexpected times

Sometimes I laugh

Sometimes I cry

Always there is a void in my heart

An empty place that will never be filled

Until my next life when I see you again

I thank God that He sent you to me

That He allowed me to call you friend

That He allowed you to be such an important part of my life

You were the one I would call when I was desperately trying to understand my sons choices

You were the one I would call when I was terrified my dad wouldn’t make it through his medical challenges

You were the one I would call when I thought I might be falling in love again

You were the one I would call when my heart had been broken again

My heart is broken now

And you are not here to call

They say in Japan

Gold is used to repair a broken vessel

The flaw is seen as a unique part

Of the object’s history

Adding to it’s beauty

Your words of wisdom and caring

Served as the gold that filled

So many of my broken moments

And my life was made more bearable

More beautiful

By your friendship

Your sudden passing generated

Raw understanding of how fragile life is

And renewed in me the intention

To enjoy life

Work less

Learn new things

Love passionately

Dare to live

I’m not sure who will be the gold that fixes my brokenness now

But I am so very thankful

You were the one

Who held me together

These past many years and

Your golden mark

Will forever be on my heart

E.A. Fussell

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