My nickname for you was “Ladybug”
Because it is believed they are signs of
Good luck, magical moments,
And protection
You were all those things for me
Eight days ago
We were sitting on your back porch
One of your favorite places
Talking and laughing
Less than twelve hours later
Completely out of the blue
Your heart gave out
You were fighting for your life
All of us who loved you so
Prayed to God for a miracle
Begged you to stay with us
Broke down and cried
As the doctors tried everything possible
Again
And
Again
And
Again
At the end of the day
Just before midnight
It was official
You had passed on to the next life
And those of us who loved you
Were irreparably broken
In the week since loosing you
The memories flood in
At unexpected times
Sometimes I laugh
Sometimes I cry
Always there is a void in my heart
An empty place that will never be filled
Until my next life when I see you again
I thank God that He sent you to me
That He allowed me to call you friend
That He allowed you to be such an important part of my life
You were the one I would call when I was desperately trying to understand my sons choices
You were the one I would call when I was terrified my dad wouldn’t make it through his medical challenges
You were the one I would call when I thought I might be falling in love again
You were the one I would call when my heart had been broken again
My heart is broken now
And you are not here to call
They say in Japan
Gold is used to repair a broken vessel
The flaw is seen as a unique part
Of the object’s history
Adding to it’s beauty
Your words of wisdom and caring
Served as the gold that filled
So many of my broken moments
And my life was made more bearable
More beautiful
By your friendship
Your sudden passing generated
Raw understanding of how fragile life is
And renewed in me the intention
To enjoy life
Work less
Learn new things
Love passionately
Dare to live
I’m not sure who will be the gold that fixes my brokenness now
But I am so very thankful
You were the one
Who held me together
These past many years and
Your golden mark
Will forever be on my heart
E.A. Fussell
