Author: E.A.Fussell

Florida native, poet, writer, artist, adventurer, optimist, lover of chocolate.

Circling agony

Sleeping

Isn’t always restful

Even if it’s comfortable

Hanging onto things

We can’t change

Refusing to accept them

As they are

Unable to let them go

Wrestling with the anxiety

They bring

Tossing and turning

Acid burning in the stomach

Trying to make it through the night

Not knowing what to do

Having nowhere to go

Holding onto familiar misery

Like an old worn security blanket

Sleep coming in brief interludes

When the mind stops

Processing it’s circles of thought

Exhausted and needing a break

Wrapped in the comfort

Of this old familiar cycle of agony

Drifting off to sleep

Only to awake

Within the hour or so

And start the churning again

Wondering if it will ever end

Knowing that only when

A new choice is made

In the waking hours

Will restful sleep

Be ours

E.A. Fussell

10.13.2020

Back to the beginning

Hold me tightly

Like you don’t want to let go

Hold me tightly

Like you know me intimately

Hold me tightly

Remember how love used to be

Before

Decades of misunderstandings

Created miles

Of invisible distance

Between us

Causing multi-faceted

Separateness

In the middle of our union

Hold me tightly

Squeeze the resentment away

Help me get back to that place

Where you were the only thing

I could see

And you were madly in love with me

E.A. Fussell

10.12.2020

Think the outcome into being

When despair awakens me

In the middle of the night

And I feel my heart clenching shut

As I fear for my child’s life

Will he overcome addiction

Or will addiction kill him

I remind myself this emotion of fear

Is coming from a thought

Thoughts create our reality

So

I change my thought

And see my son

As a recovered healthy man

Surrounded by a good life

Laughter, children, a loving wife

A house, land, all he had planned

Then I close my eyes

Drift back into sleep

With an open heart

No more anxiety

E.A. Fussell

10.11.2020

Play the role or change it

The world will always tell you

Who it thinks you are

You can get caught up

In the script

That it

Establishes for you

Giving away the peace

That rests within

Or

You can give yourself

Permission

To create without inhibition

Whatever you choose

What life do you want

If it’s the one you have that’s great

If it’s not then change it

It’s okay to be unapologetically you

E.A. Fussell

10.10.2020

Never changing awareness

Fear is a waste of attention

But there are those

Who are caught in it’s grip

If you can’t help yourself

If fear entices you

If you find you’re mind

Must entertain worry

Then fear this:

One year from this moment

Being in the exact same place

Of inner awareness you are in right now

If I were inclined to fear

That would terrify me

E.A. Fussell

10.08.2020

Chasing stars

Part of her mystery

Is that she is not traditional

She is not predictable

She is ever changing

There is no way for you to know her

Just when you think

You’ve got her figured out

That you’ve found her breaking point

You will find her standing strong

In the middle of the storm

Watching it rage around her

Quiet and at peace

Unruffled by the winds of change

Solid in knowing

Her awareness

Is a powerful presence

Don’t let it worry you

No one can catch this shooting star

Embodied in human form

Accept her mystery

Embrace her unpredictability

Bask in the freedom she offers

It’s your choice

Stay

Or

Go your own way

E.A. Fussell

10.08.2020

Watch what you throw

Circles of me

Boomerang out

Eventually returning

What vibration am I sending

What atmosphere am I changing

What impact am I having

This can be determined

Easily

By what is returning

All I have to remember is

To change my environment

Just change my vibration

Such a simple

Uncomplicated process

Difficult in it’s execution

E.A. Fussell

10.08.2020

Hostess challenge

Why do we invite

Disagreeable things

Into our heart

People, memories, thoughts

We sweep them out a space

Hang pictures on the wall

Make them all nice and cozy

Play the perfect host

For a guest who rips to shreds

It’s abode

Until it’s an unrecognizable space

Why do we listen

To such an inconsiderate thing

Why do we allow

The damage it brings

Remodeling us from the inside

Refusing to leave

Until we find it difficult

To recognize ourselves

Or return

To a former joyful state

Realizing too late

All we have to do

When a disagreeable thing

Knocks on the door of our heart

Is refuse to let it in

Throw the locking bolt in place

Protect our sacred space

Let someone else win

The hostess award

E.A. Fussell

10.08.2020