Windmill of My Mind

From time to time

I’ve been known

To go searching for answers

Sometimes

Joy fills my heart

Lifts my vibration high enough

To touch the breath of God

Sometimes

Sorrow rips my heart apart

Makes me scream at Heaven

Asking Jesus, Why?

I have learned

Answers

Don’t necessarily

Satisfy the mind

They can leave it more confused

Answers

May be overrated

Why do we feel compelled to know?

Maybe it’s better just to rest

With few questions answered

In a proverbial state of bliss

E.A. Fussell

05/15/2018

Trust Yourself

Life

Blows sometimes

Life

Is unpredictable most of the time

If you stop fighting it

And let it just be

It will bring a whole new view

That you could never see

As long as you resist

Trust

Your inner self

Trust

That God loves you

Trust

That the universe was created

For your good

Stop

Trying to control the outcome

Stop thinking

Feel

The love that wants to engulf you

Feel

The rain kissing your skin

Feel

The sun feeding your energy

Feel

The wind hugging you

Doing more

Will not satisfy you

Learn

How to just be

Be with this moment

Embrace it

This moment

Is all you really have

This moment

Is your life

E.A. Fussell

05/14/2018

Mother’s Day 2018

Mother’s Day

So many memories

Memories of my Granny

She was the most precious

Woman in my life

My best friend

She is missed every day

Memories of my mother

We have a

Complicated relationship

But have grown a little closer

As we age

Memories of my mother’s in-law

All strong women

All good friends to me

Memories of my children

Two who didn’t survive

And most importantly

Memories of my son

The most precious gift

Of this life

If time could be turned back

My choices during his childhood

Would be different

Work would not be part of my life

My time would be invested

Completely in being a mother

If I had focused more

On spending time with him

Playing, fishing, coloring, reading, talking

Teaching him how to

Build his character

Instead of focusing my time

On building houses

Maybe then my son would be able

To make better life choices for himself

His potential is astounding

If only he could break-a-way

From the darkness that holds him down

Feeling like you failed as a mother

Is the absolute worst feeling

More painful than any other

E.A. Fussell

05/13/2018

Tip Toeing On The Rail of Life

Mostly

Tip toeing

On the rail of life

To

And

Fro

This way a while

Now that

Wishing the future and I

Could have a little chat

Maybe then

Choices

Would not become

Mistakes

Tip toeing

Would become

Sure footedness

In the light of what’s best

Glimpses

Into the future

Are seldom allowed

And only briefly visible

To the truly

Self-aware

Wishful thinking

Here I go

Sometimes boldly rushing

On the rail

Going, going, going

Where my choices take me

To

And

Fro

On the rail of life

Tip toeing

Mostly

E.A. Fussell

05/12/2018

Catching Worlds

Sometimes

It feels like I’m juggling

So many things to do

Not enough time in the day

I’m struggling

To accomplish all my dreams

The vision

I have been given

Helping others

Sewing seeds

So many fields to plow

So many souls in need

I need to sleep

But there’s no time

So many ideas

Running through my mind

I can see the harvest

At the end of the line

To the untrained eye

It may look

Like my hands are empty

But to those

With eyes that can see

It is clear

Worlds of opportunity

Are being tossed toward me

Trying to catch them all

Don’t want to let even one

Slip through my hands

Multitudes need my help

I’m struggling

Trying to fit it all in

I’m juggling

Catching opportunities

Setting souls on fire

Motivating one more person

Helping, healing, believing

Trying not to miss a step

As I make

#1morerep

E.A. Fussell

05/08/2018

Written in honor of Ronald Marshall and Tamika Williams two mighty warriors I am honored to know ❤️