Tag: love

Mother’s Day 2018

Mother’s Day

So many memories

Memories of my Granny

She was the most precious

Woman in my life

My best friend

She is missed every day

Memories of my mother

We have a

Complicated relationship

But have grown a little closer

As we age

Memories of my mother’s in-law

All strong women

All good friends to me

Memories of my children

Two who didn’t survive

And most importantly

Memories of my son

The most precious gift

Of this life

If time could be turned back

My choices during his childhood

Would be different

Work would not be part of my life

My time would be invested

Completely in being a mother

If I had focused more

On spending time with him

Playing, fishing, coloring, reading, talking

Teaching him how to

Build his character

Instead of focusing my time

On building houses

Maybe then my son would be able

To make better life choices for himself

His potential is astounding

If only he could break-a-way

From the darkness that holds him down

Feeling like you failed as a mother

Is the absolute worst feeling

More painful than any other

E.A. Fussell

05/13/2018

Tearing Down Walls

In less than two weeks

We will meet again

The possibility of true love

Whispers on the wind

As the day draws closer

Anxiety mounts

Are we just a fantasy

Or a love that will really count

Our first meeting was brief

A seed of hope got planted

Growing steadily

Into something we both want

Are you as nervous me

Hoping beyond hope

That this just might be

Something to pursue

Taking one day at a time

Gets harder each day

Keeping my mind off the future

Is difficult in so many ways

I try not to envision us

Living together

The fairytale

Of happily-ever-after

A tale that has failed us both

So many times before

I don’t want to feel the pressure

As I walk through the door

Of the house that might someday

Truly be called “ours”

I am fighting the anxiety

Creeping in at all hours

You are so precious to me

Such a treasure

I don’t want to lose the joy

That we share

Please forgive me

For the hesitancy

As our next meeting draws close

You may be sensing

As I process my fears

And tear down the walls

My heart has built over the years

I know your intentions are pure

You are a good man

So why am I getting so scared

When I believe this is a Divine plan

E.A. Fussell

05/07/2018