Decades of memories in a scent

Isn’t it amazing how scents can bring memories rushing in? Sometimes good ones sometimes not so good. Aging and memory loss go hand-in-hand so exercises to help lessen the effect are always good. Remembering things tied to scents can help with recall. A few scents that I can imagine as if they were happening right now and bringing with them multitudes of good memories include:

FRIED CHICKEN:

In my childhood I can see my granny standing in the kitchen over one of her favorite cast iron skillets filled with hot Crisco oil, cooking up a fresh chicken from her brood out in the back yard, and when it was cooked we enjoyed a great family dinner filled with love and laughter.

Then later as an adult I can see me, my best friend Sherry, who was taken from us far too soon, and her man Robert Griffin sitting at their kitchen table as we shared a bucket of KFC and had some very entertaining conversations. I always told them they could be the stars of a show called:

The Adventures of Big Daddy and Little Mama

FRESHLY BAKED PECAN PIE:

My mama made the best pecan pies. She doesn’t cook anymore and when i try to make her recipe it never tastes the same. But I remember the times, long ago, when I was a child and mama would make a batch of pecan pies. Usually she made them after a family member had gone on a trip to Georgia and brought back a bag of Georgia pecans. The house would feel with the sweet smell of Karo corn syrup and roasting pecans. Then mama would take them out of the oven and set them to cool. The anticipation of the first delicious bite still comes to mind and makes my mouth water to this day.

GARDENIAS:

My granny & grandpa had a large gardenia bush near the front door of their house. When it was blooming granny would share the blooms with others. We lived next door to her and she often took me and my sister Cindy Fussell Cindy Fussell Whitfield to the bus stop. When the gardenia bush was blooming she would cut a flower, wrap it in a moist paper towel and tell us to give one to the school bus driver or our teacher. Granny was always gifting things to others like flowers from her garden, fresh baked sweets, home made buttermilk biscuits,(there’s a great scent), or handmade crafts.

LAVENDER OIL:

When the housing market crashed in the early 2000’s i had to find a new way of making a living. I am so thankful that I was able to enter the realm of alternative healing through massage therapy, energy healing, and other types of bodywork. Lavender can be found throughout various bodywork modalities. It has been used since ancient times to relax and calm the body and mind. The scent reminds me of all the healers I have been honored to work with as well as the Individuals I have been blessed to serve in a healing capacity.

CAMPFIRE-SMOKE:

When i was a child I remember that my daddy and grandpa spent every moment they could in the woods. During hunting season they would be gone for several days and return smelling like pine and campfire smoke. Once they had unpacked the trucks and buggies we would all gather around in the living room, or front yard, and listen to their stories filled with adventure and funny antics.

Then later in my lifer there are memories of wonderful conversations around a campfire, sometimes blazing, sometimes smoldering. Sometimes with a bunch of family, sometimes only a few friends, and of course those unforgettable times with a lover.

E.A. Fussell

05.01.2021

Blessings to you

Hey girl, Hey!

Sometimes 

Life gets a little crazy

Don’t let it get you down

Friday’s here 

The weekend with it

Have a little fun

Soak up some sun

Put on a fancy gown 

Go out on the town

Or just relax 

And read a book

Whatever you do

I will be sending 

Good vibes to you

E.A. Fussell

04.29.2021

Jump the fence

Live your life

Take some chances

Ignore the fences

Climb across the barbed wire

Crawl underneath it

Be wild and crazy

Like nobody’s watching

And if they are

Let them

You’re more interesting

Than those Kardashians

Make some waves

Relax on the shore

Dance barefoot in the sand

Sleep under the stars

Remember

In the end

You are the only one

You have to answer for

Right now is the oldest

You’ve ever been

And the youngest

You will ever be again

What will you do

With the rest of

What life has to offer you

E.A. Fussell

04.27.2021

Tiny ray of hope

Rain lily seen on my evening walk in Lago Vista, Texas 4.21.2021

Little lily

Fresh and pure

You make me long

For something more

Your effortless springing

From the dry crusty ground

Makes me believe

Maybe

Hope can still be found

E.A. Fussell

04.21.2021

Can you hear me

I used to tell you

I love you to the moon and back

A million times

Do you remember

You were the only thing

That kept me hoping

And now

Somedays it feels like

All hope is gone

This is one of those days

I see your eyes

Light up

I hear your laugh

I feel your hug

I’m running to you

Running for my life

But going nowhere

I wake up

And I’m still in this lonely place

I know you’ll make it

Anywhere

I wish you had known that

While you were here

You made your choice

I have to accept that

But to think I might not ever

See your eyes again

Makes it hard not to cry

Can you hear my voice

Can you see my tears

Do you know how very much

I love you

No matter that worlds

Separate us now

You live on in my mind

And in my darkest days

The memory of

Your beautiful smile

Lights my way

And eventually

Pulls me up from

The darkest place

E.A. Fussell

02.21.2021

A never ending battle

Mastering detachment from

Thoughts that cause pain

Letting them show up

Letting them go

Not ignoring them exactly

Simply acknowledging

They are there and

A choice can be made

When they come

To engage with them

Or not

Wallow in misery

Become immobilized by pain

Walking down memory lane

Or sit quietly

Reflecting only the love

That exists in the memory

Detachment allows

Awareness of the emotion

While choosing not to get lost in it

On the outside others wonder

What is going on

Is it denial

When will the grief express itself

They fail to understand

The grief expresses itself

Every minute

Internally

Asking me to pick it up

Play with it

Scream, sob, be ripped apart by it

I acknowledge the request

And choose not to participate

At least for this moment

Understanding that

In the next moment

When the invitation comes again

I may not be strong enough

To remain detached

I may choose

To play with grief

Let it overtake me

The invisible battle inside

My mind and heart

Going on minute by minute

Turning me into someone else

I’m not sure who she will be

This woman who no longer

Has a son

Is no longer a mother

Can no longer expect to be called

Grandmother

She is something different

Than the me of a week ago

But not yet what the me will be

After battling this grief

Which moment by moment

Asks to consume me

E.A. Fussell

1.30.2021

Looking backwards

Enlightenment

It’s such a catchy phrase

People toss it around

Like confetti

Sparkly and fun

It’s not fun at all

It’s a simple complicated process

Filled with regrets and guilt

Sorrow and remorse

Forgiveness and letting go

Burning up thoughts

Ripping out layers of programming

To reach increasing levels of

Insight

Understanding

And finally

Wisdom

Which eventually leads to

Enlightenment

Thinking back on my

Decades of seeking it

I am reminded of an old saying

Ignorance is bliss

Sometimes I wish I was still ignorant

Of this thing others call

Enlightenment

Sometimes I wish I was still

That blissful young woman

In her twenties who hadn’t heard of

The catchy phrase yet

She was wrapped up

In thoughts of her husband

And her young son

She was ignorant of trying to reach

A higher level of consciousness

Yes, sometimes I wish I was still her

If given a second chance

I’m not sure I would choose to chase

The catchy phrase

I might let someone else

Have all of the confetti

And stay safely

In the ignorance of my blissful life

Instead of setting out on this long

Painful pilgrimage

Through truth to enlightenment

That blisters like the sun

The journey of which has been

Many things

But most certainly

Not fun

E.A. Fussell

01.24.2021

Accepting

Self awareness

You have to meet people

Where they are

Not where you wish they were

Or even where you are

We are on individual journeys

Existing on different planes

Of consciousness

As much as you may want someone

To see things the way you see them

They may not choose to

They may not be ready to

They may not ever be able to

Their journey through this world

May be very different than yours

And that’s okay

You are only responsible for

Your own journey

Accepting others where they are

In their journey means letting go

Of being right

Right for you may be wrong for them

Right for them may be wrong for you

Only God judges in the end

And when you stand before Him

He will only be looking at you

Not them

E.A. Fussell

01.24.2021

Loss of a son

Wild fire

Blazing in my heart

Burning up my mind

The mother in me is ravaged

My soul knows

You are in a better place

No more suffering

You are with the Master Creator

Safe and secure

A new role to play

Heaven as your playground

When I see that clearly

It brings me joy

Helping me detach from the pain

Engulfing me

Here on earth

E.A. Fussell

01.22.2021