Emerging

The safety of convention

The security of social relationships

That wrap around

Encompassing

The heart

And mind

Forming a protective barrier

They are not part of me anymore

Sometimes I wish they were

Sometimes I wish

I could fit back inside

That protective predictable suit

Going about life

In a somewhat normal way

But you see

There was a time in my life

The cocoon of normalcy

Which had held me for so long

Crumbled

Fell away

Painfully

And in healing

Something different emerged

Something ancient

A renewed energy

Flickering within

Content with being alone

No longer desiring to own

Or attach

To anything

Or anyone

Understanding

That there is a different existence

That can be reached

It requires nothing

No ownership

No possession

No things

Looking closely

I can now see

The beauty of me

As it reflects off the old suit

I couldn’t accept myself

When I was inside of

That old conventional suit

I was never pretty enough

Smart enough

Didn’t own enough

Couldn’t accomplish enough

But then I woke up one day

As the old cocoon crumbled away

And I realized that

I am enough

E.A. Fussell

12.15.2020

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