Family Home

Texting with one of my sisters tonight

Longing for back in the day

When things seemed alright

Back when we were all at home

In a time before there were

So many cell phones

When we were carefree

For the most part

My sisters and brothers and me

Our whole life ahead of us

Most of our family members

Alive and well and still with us

We had no idea no clue

A few short decades later

There would remain so few

If we had known back then

What we know today

Fewer arguments there might have been

Over motorcycles, music, and friends

If we had only known how time would fly

We would have spent our time differently

More time listening to our parents

More time talking with each other

More time hugging our Grandparents

But we can’t go back to days gone by

Except in our memories

Which sometimes make us cry

So much love was there

But our rebellious hearts

Took us elsewhere

We understand now albeit too late

How many loved ones

Would be taken away

And how very quickly time slips away

Now all we can do is remember

And long for those days

E.A. Fussell

07/03/2018

Courage and Grace

We are all

Respectfully observing

Your courage and grace

Which are truly awe inspiring

As this latest battle you face

Many of us

Find it hard to understand

Why you?

Why now?

Why?

But His ways

Are not our ways

All we can do

Is pray

And as you lose

That bunch of 1983 hair

We are certain

That smile will still

Light up a room

Those eyes will still

Sparkle with laughter

That mind will still

Rapidly zoom

That heart will still

Radiate warmth

And that hair will

Grow back soon

We love you Cathy ❤️

E.A. Fussell

06/13/2018

Nervous Excitement

Excited

Nervous

What will our next encounter hold

Clouds like fluffy other worlds

Drift past the airplane window

Bubbly worlds of white

As far as the eye can see

As my carriage of mega horsepower

Transports me over several states

To arrive at our rendezvous destination

Voices chattering, children crying,

Soda can tops popping,

Snack bags rustling

These are the sounds that fill the cabin

Of my carriage

As it traverses the miles

Bringing us closer by the minute

My prayers are given for the pilots,

The plane, the flight attendants,

The passengers

Thoughts rush in

About the last six months

How our conversations have grown

Now imagining soft music

Meditating to instill calmness

In my mind and body

But it doesn’t help much

Mega horsepower has now taken me

Halfway on my journey

These feelings still persist

Nervous

Excited

E.A.Fussell

05/25/2018

An Old Fashioned Man

He is one of those rare people

The kind most people like

The kind who doesn’t realize his impact

The kind who is mostly thinking of others

Takes little time for himself

A force to be reckoned with

In his passion

To promote his community

Or preserve history

Or take care of his loved ones

He is the kind of man

That can make a wounded woman

Believe in true love again

Believe in taking a risk again

Believe in happily-ever-after again

He brings a since of security

To a world set on destroying itself

He is from another time

A time of shared milkshakes

A time of front porch sitting at night

A time of knowing and helping

Your neighbors

Your local businesses

Your pastor and church members

Sometimes I wonder if he is real

Or just a figment of my imagination

A dreamed up old fashioned man

Representing the life I wish I had

But then a package arrives

And in it the most thoughtful gift

Things to make me feel at home

While I work in a distant place

And I know he is real

He is not a dream

And life is offering us the chance

At how wonderful love can be

E.A. Fussell

05/20/2018

Windmill of My Mind

From time to time

I’ve been known

To go searching for answers

Sometimes

Joy fills my heart

Lifts my vibration high enough

To touch the breath of God

Sometimes

Sorrow rips my heart apart

Makes me scream at Heaven

Asking Jesus, Why?

I have learned

Answers

Don’t necessarily

Satisfy the mind

They can leave it more confused

Answers

May be overrated

Why do we feel compelled to know?

Maybe it’s better just to rest

With few questions answered

In a proverbial state of bliss

E.A. Fussell

05/15/2018

Trust Yourself

Life

Blows sometimes

Life

Is unpredictable most of the time

If you stop fighting it

And let it just be

It will bring a whole new view

That you could never see

As long as you resist

Trust

Your inner self

Trust

That God loves you

Trust

That the universe was created

For your good

Stop

Trying to control the outcome

Stop thinking

Feel

The love that wants to engulf you

Feel

The rain kissing your skin

Feel

The sun feeding your energy

Feel

The wind hugging you

Doing more

Will not satisfy you

Learn

How to just be

Be with this moment

Embrace it

This moment

Is all you really have

This moment

Is your life

E.A. Fussell

05/14/2018

Mother’s Day 2018

Mother’s Day

So many memories

Memories of my Granny

She was the most precious

Woman in my life

My best friend

She is missed every day

Memories of my mother

We have a

Complicated relationship

But have grown a little closer

As we age

Memories of my mother’s in-law

All strong women

All good friends to me

Memories of my children

Two who didn’t survive

And most importantly

Memories of my son

The most precious gift

Of this life

If time could be turned back

My choices during his childhood

Would be different

Work would not be part of my life

My time would be invested

Completely in being a mother

If I had focused more

On spending time with him

Playing, fishing, coloring, reading, talking

Teaching him how to

Build his character

Instead of focusing my time

On building houses

Maybe then my son would be able

To make better life choices for himself

His potential is astounding

If only he could break-a-way

From the darkness that holds him down

Feeling like you failed as a mother

Is the absolute worst feeling

More painful than any other

E.A. Fussell

05/13/2018